Wednesday, 7 March 2012

My tea party funeral

I went to a funeral today. If you've ever read my blog, you'll know I have thanatophobia (fear of death). My aunty expected me not to come but I always feel I should honour the life of someone I knew & loved, even if it makes me terribly uneasy.

On the way to the funeral, I had a chat to Dad about our funerals. The funny thing is we would be the one to organise the other's funeral if we died any time soon. I have ideas about what I would do for Dad & I shared those with him. His idea for his own funeral was a big football game that all attendees have to play! But I was also curious what he would do for me.

He said he would bury me dressed like Alice in Wonderland. That made me so happy! I'd never considered what I would wear, I guess I just thought a pretty dress but with this idea, I imagined, rather than being buried, I would be tumbling down a rabbit hole & this thought made me smile. I actually find this thought comforts me!

Music wise, he would play 'You'll never walk alone' by Gerry & The Pacemakers. It's the Liverpool anthem, it was sung at my grandfather's funeral & it will be sung at my dad's, my brother's and my funeral too. I don't know what other songs Dad would pick.

Dad told me he would, rather than have a traditional wake, have everyone attend a Mad Hatter's Tea Party. I could just imagine all the people I love best gathered together eating scones & drinking tea from mismatched tea cups - sharing (hopefully fond) memories of me.

I asked Dad if he could invite my Twitter followers. That may sound weird, but when ever I feel alone, I remember I have a stack of people who enjoy my "company" - even if it is on the Internet. And if they felt they would like to attend to say goodbye to me, I would love them to do so.

One thing I did say was I don't know who would speak at my funeral. I am the public speaker in the family & none of my friends are enthusiastic public speakers. I would like to know who would step up & do it. I would love to know who would share stories & what their favourite stories would be. Would they write a script or poem like I would or would they tell stories, off the cuff?

Isn't it funny that the occasion that supposedly represents your entire existence is arranged by people other than you. It will not be my party, it will be the party my loved ones have for me. Firstly I hope it's a long way off & secondly, I hope it is a happy occasion full of people who love me but smile because they knew me!

Miss SAMawdsley xx


  • What thoughts or plans do you have for your own funeral?
  • Who would plan your funeral & what do you think they would arrange for you?


  1. Player... I am disappoint.

    Of course I would speak at your funeral. I know more stories about you than you do, apparently. The question is, would you want my stories told? I mean, there must be a reason why you repress them :P

    Besides, we share the sacred bond of the Players. How can I achieve eternal victory without seeing with my own eyes my greatest foe defeated?

  2. Ah yes Player... only one may come out of this alive... :P xx

  3. Hope the funeral wasnt for who i think it was... :/


  4. No, Matt, it wasn't. It was for my great aunt who has been sick & had dementia for a long time. It was a much happier occasion that it would be if it was that funeral. I would be in no state to post a blog, that's for sure. Thanks for your concern though, that's so sweet of you! :) xx

  5. Well its not exactly the right thing to say but 'thank goodness' did cross my mind. I hope he and the rest are well. ynwa.

  6. I fully intend to have my mortal body burnt on an open pyre, a-la-Troy, the way Hector went out. it's perfectly legal in Queensland, only the place & time need permission. The body is a husk once the spirit leaves, but still, I revel in the thoughts of a raging blaze consuming my remains. As to a funeral, it's a non-event. I scattered my Dad's ashes according to his wishes. I'd like to think my kids will do the same for me.