Monday, 31 October 2011

I heart my body!

I promised yesterday I wouldn't blog about death for a while. So that will be the last mention of the D word for this post!

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I was inspired (again) by the most amazing blogger I know, Miss Lori (Random Ramblings of a Stay At Home Mum) and her post: "Everybody's body is beautiful!" If you have a blog, you should join in too!

Here's the "I heart my body" deal:
If someone asked you what you love about your body would you be able to answer them right away?
Or would you instead think of all the lumpy bits first?
Today is I Heart My Body day and we are doing just that.
Loving our bodies just as they are.
To join in all you need to do is post a picture to your blog and tell us what YOU love about your body.
So... here it is!
So what do I love about my body?

I heart my curves. I love that even though I'm not very big, I still somehow manage to have a classic hourglass figure. (Something only 8% of the population has, apparently).

I heart that little dippy line thing that runs straight down the middle of my tummy.
Confidence = sexy
I heart that my boobs aren't very big and I can still get away with wearing a top with no bra.

I heart that (most of the time) my body can get me through a 90 min football game and do amazing things with a football without too much input from my brain.
Hands up if you heart your body!
It may not be perfect but I heart my body!

Miss SAMawdsley xx

PS: Unfortunately, not everyone loves their body. Read one story here: Taking the plunge

Sunday, 30 October 2011

When are you "faced with death"?

My last post on death for a while, I promise! xx

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Someone I've known for a long time and who is very close to me has been told he may die soon. At worst, he may not live to see Christmas.
He is facing death.

I run the 100+ Club. Every member of this club is aged 100 or more. Considering the average life expectancy in Australia is 81.5 years, it's fair to say these people are living on borrowed time and that inevitably, and somewhat soon, they will die.
They are facing death.

Consider someone who has been diagnosed with cancer and has been told they have 18 months to live.
They are facing death.

A 25 year old with cystic fibrosis has, on average, another 10 years to live.
They are facing death too, right?

Would you feel a pang of sympathy for all these people and their bravery in knowing death is imminent? I do.
Would you be at all surprised if the people who live these realities (and they are real) were afraid? If they questioned their purpose, their death and what was beyond that? I wouldn't.

Now I have, at best, 80 years to live. Am I facing death? At what point on the winding down clock do we feel we are "facing death"? How much sand needs to be left in the hourglass to keep us comforted, unfazed by our mortality and confident in our existence?

"Like sand through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives..." (think about it)
For help & support with thanatophobia, or to chat with like-minded individuals, please click here --> CLICK ME!

Miss SAMawdsley xx

Thursday, 27 October 2011

He's coming for you, you know?

Yesterday I asked, are you afraid of dying? Interestingly, the response was less enthusiastic. Here are the responses I got.
Samantha: Love the blog hun! I have never been afraid of dying until recently. I'm a Christian and believe that I'll be going on to paradise. I don't know what it'll be like but i know it will be fab! I think it was a Jewish man that once said 'We have as much concept of the afterlife as an unborn baby does of the outside world' but that doesn't bother me. I don't fancy the idea of drowning but the actual moment of death i imagine to be very peaceful. HOWEVER... since having my baby boy I'm terrified of leaving him. I'm also scared that something could happen to me while my husband is at work and my baby would be screaming until he got home! It's amazing how having a child changes your outlook on life! X
Lee: I'm not afraid of dying, or death, but I do worry about those I would leave behind if I did pass on.
WWKnight: Im afraid of living an insignificant life, and thus I am afraid of dying without having achieved anything. But I am not actually afraid of the dying itself.
Karen: No I am only afraid of the way I will die as long as it is painless and with dignity I have seen so many deaths in my life and know how horrible death can be so I am hoping i go quickly and in my sleep. I also would rather die than live with dementia or alzheimers disease. 
@paolavanessa: I'm not afraid of dying. I'm afraid of dying too soon.
Anonymous: As terrified as I am of public speaking, I would choose that over the coffin only because the thought of my kids without me breaks my heart.

The following conversation also took place on my blog...
Anonymous: Death doesn't worry me - why spend your life worrying about death. I don't believe in after life's, heaven and pet cementaries so there isn't motivation to end up in the fluffy clouds or worry about burning my toast in hell. Death isn't something I contemplate or consider the ramifications of. Those who fear death - in what way does this fear impact on your living? 
Samantha: I am afraid of death. Well, I am afraid of ceasing to exist. The impacts for me are huge. I have suffered panic attacks since I was 11 and have been in and out of therapy since then. Nothing has helped. Most recently, I was in hospital with a burn and while on pain killers, lost complete control and started screaming, I mean really hysterically screaming because I thought about the fact I am going to die. So it definitely impacts on my living. 
Anonymous: yeah, death itself doesnt phase me, I wont know about it when I'm gone. Losing someone else close (children, husband etc, not parents cos I see that as the natural order of things)and experiencing that pain again is enough to put me into a state of manic terror.
Samantha: "I won't know about it when  'I'm gone". It is exactly that thought that terrifies to the point that I can't breathe... Literally being unable to think, feel, love... oh God... :( 

I also posted a poll on Facebook asking if respondents were afraid of dying. My boyfriend & another friend responded. That is it. And they both said no. So what am I to gather from this response? I may just be inferring but from what I am lead to believe, most great scientific discoveries started out as mere hypotheses. I wonder if maybe people are more willing to talk about other fears. Other fears like heights, spiders, snakes and insects can be avoided. Theoretically, you could survive the rest of your life without ever climbing a ladder again. If you were lucky enough, maybe, just maybe, you would never have to come across another spider ever again. But death? I could live for another week and die or I could live for another 80 years and die. But whatever happens and however long it takes, I am going to die. You are going to die. Every single person you have ever known, or will ever know, is going to die.
He's coming for you, you know?

I know this is a morbid topic and people don't like to think about it. It is my belief that people without thanatophobia / fear of death are not void of a fear of dying. I believe they simply don't think about it.

Tell me I'm wrong.

Miss SAMawdsley xx

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Are YOU afraid of dying?

Yesterday I asked, what is your biggest phobia? Here are the answers I received on my Facebook.
Samantha Mawdsleyis doing a quick poll. Dear friends, what is your biggest fear/phobia? 
Nikki: Probably death, oh and spiders :-/
Sarah: Snakes and losing another baby/child.
Tea Man: Bears that can roller blade
Robert: that this is all i shall be
Matthew: Quick spontaneous Polls....
Matthew: Agggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Nikki: Good point Sarah, ill add losing someone you love to my list!
Simon: Buried alive...
Brad: Not finding out who Ted marries
Nikki: haaaaaave you met Ted?
Mandy: Geckos and that order!
Karen: Spiders and snakes in no particular order
Samantha: Phobia of posting letters (?!) and fear of something happening to my baby
Kimberley: Entomophobia (fear of insects). Especially when the damn things are within breathing space of me
Rebecca: my parents dying. .
Sharyn: That all my kiddies will forget me (including the adopted ones)
David: Stagnation, irrelevancy, spiders.
Kate: the dark, losing the people close to me and the future

Twitter gave me the following responses.
@iVerbalise: #foreveralone
@lycanlife: People knowing my fears & taking advantage of them.
This quick poll taught me a few things. Firstly, I have some funny, funny friends. Matt & Brad crack me up! Also, some people don't take fear and phobias seriously. This is something I have learned already. Few people understand my fears and while I admit my story about why I'm scared of flying is quite amusing, my resulting fear is not a laughing matter. I am terrified.

Interestingly, spiders pretty much top the list, closely followed by snakes. Many of the things on this list can kill you - with the obvious exceptions of geckos and posting letters. The other common fears also relate to death. There are six responses directly involving death but only one person actually lists death as their biggest fear. If I am to believe my unprofessional and pretty non-scientific poll, one in 19 people is actually afraid of dying? This brings me to my next question and this is going to be hard for me, but in the interests of "scientific" research, I need to ask. Please comment and share your thoughts and feelings on the subject.

Are you afraid of dying?

Miss SAMawdsley xx

PS: I once heard that more people are afraid of public speaking than dying. Which means that at a funeral, most people would rather be in the coffin than giving the eulogy...

Where would you rather be?

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Monday, 24 October 2011

What are YOU afraid of?

What is your biggest fear? Apparently around one in ten people suffer from a phobia and the most common are

1. Arachnophobia (The fear of spiders)
This phobia tends to affect women more than men.

2. Ophidiophobia (The fear of snakes)
Often attributed to evolutionary causes, personal experiences, or cultural influences.

3. Acrophobia (The fear of heights)
This fear can lead to anxiety attacks and avoidance of high places.

4. Agoraphobia (The fear of situations in which escape is difficult)
This may include crowded areas, open spaces, or situations that are likely to trigger a panic attack. People will begin avoiding these trigger events, sometimes to the point that they cease leaving their home.
Approximately one third of people with panic disorder develop agoraphobia.

5. Cynophobia (The fear of dogs)
This phobia is often associated with specific personal experiences, such as being bitten by a dog during childhood.

6. Astraphobia (The fear of thunder and lightening)
Also known as Brontophobia, Tonitrophobia, or Ceraunophobia.

7. Trypanophobia (The fear of injections)
Like many phobias, this fear often goes untreated because people avoid the triggering object and situation.

8. Social Phobias (The fear of social situations)
In many cases, these phobias can become so severe that people avoid events, places, and people that are likely to trigger an anxiety attack.

9. Pteromerhanophobia (The fear of flying)
Often treated using exposure therapy, in which the client is gradually and progressively introduced to flying.

10. Mysophobia (The fear of germs or dirt)
May be related to obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Of those, I fully understand being terrified of spiders and flying. I have always been scared of spiders. They're hairy, they run too fast, they are there on the wall when you least expect it, they have far too many legs and they just generally creep me out!! This is a fear I guess I was born with. It's also the most common fear.

Flying however, that's an acquired fear. Prior to developing my fear, I had flown to Adelaide and back and made the following journey: Brisbane - Cairns - Hong Kong - London - Trevisio - London - Shannon - London - Hong Kong - Brisbane. The day prior to developing my fear of flying, I had flown from Brisbane to Seoul and was somewhere in the air over an ocean on my way to London when it happened. To sum up the story, I heard the captain tell the entire cabin we were having "technical difficulties" and "were going to descend". As I mentioned, this was somewhere over an ocean (I suck at geography and can't be bothered looking at a map to figure out which one) so I panicked. They don't call it "The Miracle on the Hudson" because it's easy to land on water! So I told the English girls behind me we were going to die, panicked a lot and then, after every TV on the plane simultaneously went blank, I demanded an air hostess tell me what was going on. Turns out the technical difficulties requiring we "descend" were the TVs having trouble and we were actually going to "reset". Embarrassingly, I knew this as I was the one who'd complained about the TVs to begin with... But, the damage had been done and after fully believing I was going to die on this God-forsaken hunk of metal hurtling through the sky... I've avoided flying ever since!

So tell me, what is YOUR biggest phobia?

Miss SAMawdsley xx

Writer's block? Already?

This is my second blog post and the topic is writer's block. But it's not so much to do with my blog, but my job. I am employed as an author. My nine to five job is writing a coffee table book for the 100+ Club, a free social club exclusively for people aged 100 or over. ( <-- Please become a fan!) I am in the final stages of writing the book and my days lately consist of chaining myself to a desk at my local library and researching the last 100 years of Australian and world history. That part is fun. The library staff all know me now, I jam my headphone in my ears, take notes on my iPad and I'm allowed to eat and drink in the library (except for the fact I wear Invisalign braces, but that's a whole other story.)

What is getting me down is when I come home, iPad laden with facts and figures and fantastic little tid-bits of knowledge to add to my manuscript. I open my laptop, click on the Word document titled 'Manuscript', bring up the day's document on my iPad and sit blankly. It is getting increasingly harder to force myself to get into the frame of mind to write my manuscript. From day to day and mood to mood, I write differently. It is hard to force my writing to sound seamless when reading back. Sometimes, and maybe it's because I'm my own worst critic, I read my own writing and it feels forced and contrived. Nobody who has read my work ever comments on that, in fact I only ever hear positive feedback, but I can definitely tell when a sentence has been inserted at a later date. Or maybe I just remember, because I did it...

I need one of those memory flashy things from Men in Black and then I could read my own writing completely subjectively... somebody make that happen?

Miss SAMawdsley xx

Thursday, 20 October 2011

Hey, look at me! I'm on the internets!

I love the internet. I have a Twitter account, a Tumblr account, a Facebook account, a Google+ account. Heck, I used to host a weekly radio show that was all about social media on the internet. So I think it's fair to say that I, Princess_Sassy, have a pretty solid internet presence. And now I'm trying to do it all over again as Miss Samantha Mawdsley, future star of the literary world. So here I am.

So far you can follow me on Twitter ( or like me on Facebook ( and I wish you would! But I need to document my journey better and this is where this blog comes into it, and I thank you for reading it.

Today I bought a website domain. I am the proud owner of I don't recommend visiting that website. Not just yet, anyway. There is nothing there. I am slightly technologically retarded sometimes and building a website is one of those areas I fail at. So my ever so gracious boyfriend has offered to build it for me. I'm not sure he knows what he is in for. I am a perfectionist and I have OCD. If I see the slightest thing wrong, a missed capital letter, two spaces instead of one, a misaligned photo, it will need to be changed. So I say good luck to him. Oh, and thank you. So stay tuned! Hopefully I will have some great news on the website front soon.

In the meantime, please boost my social media following and if you have any questions, shoot!

Miss SAMawdsley xx