Sunday, 30 October 2011

When are you "faced with death"?

My last post on death for a while, I promise! xx

*      *      *      *      *      *      *
Someone I've known for a long time and who is very close to me has been told he may die soon. At worst, he may not live to see Christmas.
He is facing death.

I run the 100+ Club. Every member of this club is aged 100 or more. Considering the average life expectancy in Australia is 81.5 years, it's fair to say these people are living on borrowed time and that inevitably, and somewhat soon, they will die.
They are facing death.

Consider someone who has been diagnosed with cancer and has been told they have 18 months to live.
They are facing death.

A 25 year old with cystic fibrosis has, on average, another 10 years to live.
They are facing death too, right?

Would you feel a pang of sympathy for all these people and their bravery in knowing death is imminent? I do.
Would you be at all surprised if the people who live these realities (and they are real) were afraid? If they questioned their purpose, their death and what was beyond that? I wouldn't.

Now I have, at best, 80 years to live. Am I facing death? At what point on the winding down clock do we feel we are "facing death"? How much sand needs to be left in the hourglass to keep us comforted, unfazed by our mortality and confident in our existence?

"Like sand through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives..." (think about it)
For help & support with thanatophobia, or to chat with like-minded individuals, please click here --> CLICK ME!

Miss SAMawdsley xx

6 comments:

  1. "A newborn child has arrived into the world. He is facing death"

    If you want to get technical, we are facing death from conception. It's really only an issue to those who dwell on it.

    I want to come up with something wise and deep sounding. Here goes nothing.

    "Those who spend their life worrying about dying never truly get to live".

    ReplyDelete
  2. "It's the heart afraid of breaking
    that never learns to dance
    It's the dream afraid of waking
    that never takes the chance
    It's the one who won't be taken
    who cannot seem to give
    and the soul afraid of dying
    that never learns to live"
    -The Rose, Bette Midler
    One of my favourite songs because I love those lyrics. I hate myself a little every time I waste a second of my life thinking about dying, but I just can't help it...

    Miss SAMawdsley xx

    ReplyDelete
  3. My husband and I had a conversation today about what we'd do if we found out we had a brain tumor. My husband, having the mentality of a 12 year old boy said he'd want to have as much sex as possible, I thought about it a bit longer. I would want to spend as much as I could with my children and other family members and close friends, but there is still so much more in this world I want to see and do. I had my children quite young so I've never really travelled (never overseas) and I've always told myself that I'll do it when they are older and can enjoy it with me (or if they dont care, I'll go alone)But if tomorrow I was diagnosed with a brain tumor (or something equally as scary or worse) I would jump on a plane to England to see all the sights I've only read about and dreamt about seeing.
    If death was truly imminent (ie car accident, dying on the side of the road type thing) I would have serious regrets flowing through my head, but who wouldnt? those 100+ year olds? I bet if you asked them if they have truly lived their life to the fullest even they would have something they'd wished they'd done in their lives.
    I think thats the real point here, live your life to the fullest, enjoy what time you actually have before you die, rather than worrying about dying, worry about living!

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's some great advice, anonymous. Thanks! xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. I feel the same way as you Samantha. I once told a therapist about my fear, I was about 22 at the time, and he commented that I have my whole life ahead of me (first and last session). I suppose if people lived 1000 years I might feel that way but in reality, even if I don't die from an accident tomorrow, life really is too short. Each year flies by faster than the last - one day I will wake up and I will be at the end of my life. In the same way that I feel like it was just yesterday that I was in high school. Unfortunately, I think I'm too in tune with the weighty reality of it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I feel the same way as you Samantha. At 22 I told a therapist my fear and he commented that I have my whole life ahead of me (first and last session). Perhaps I would be okay with that if I were to live 1000 years, but I feel like 80 is just around the corner. Each year flies by faster than the last and I know that before I know it, I will wake up and be at the end of my life, looking back and wondering where the time went - much in the same way that I feel like high school was just yesterday even though it was 12 years ago. So even if I'm not in an accident tomorrow, it doesn't comfort me to know that I have some time before dying - it's all in your perception of time and it moves too quickly for my taste.

    ReplyDelete