Monday, 14 November 2011

My Pet Raptor

Do you know what actually makes me sad? I will never own a dinosaur… This is actually a thought that really does consume some of my time and headspace! I really, really want a dinosaur. A tyrannosaurus-rex, an australovenator, a brachiosaurus, a velociraptor, a coelophysis... I'm really not picky. I was seven when Jurassic Park came out but I already loved dinosaurs. For as long as I can remember I imagined owning my own. It was kind of an impossible dream.

Do you know, once, I was home alone and I heard a weird sound out the backyard. Now I'm twentysomething but in the nanoseconds it took me to properly process the sound I heard, my brain had already made careful calculations and used logical reasoning to decide that it was a velociraptor. In my backyard.

Now you must realise, I fully believed this thought. In my mind, it was 100% fact. So I was super-excited. Like every single one of my wildest dreams had just come true. As far as I was now concerned I had a raptor, my very own raptor, in my backyard. It was going to be my pet, I was going to name it and train it do all sorts of neat tricks and I was going to be deliriously happy!

It was a tarp blowing in the wind. The sound, it wasn’t a raptor. I just thought I should clarify that in case anyone got over excited and started emailing me offering me money in exchange for my raptor before getting to the end of my story. So calm down.

Now in the ensuing nanoseconds, I was imagining the new awesomeness that was my new raptor-filled life. Seriously, just imagine for a second, that you had your own dinosaur. I hope you’re as excited as I am otherwise I might just start sounding ridiculous. But I was imagining how to tether the thing, I mean I couldn’t just have it running around Brisbane. Then I imagined riding it around Brisbane, because it can’t just run amok around the city, but my properly-harnessed raptor and I could totally have our own shenanigans. You know, raptors are OK under adult supervision, and after all, I am a responsible twentysomething. But I was probably going to be famous for having a pet dinosaur. Of course the fame would never get to my head. I mean really, it would just be a way to pay the raptor feeding bill. Whatever that would be… How much do dead goats go for these days...?

I didn’t name my raptor.
I didn’t get that far.
Because it was a tarp blowing in the wind.
I don’t have a pet velociraptor.

Miss SAMawdsley xx

  • What is the wildest dream you have ever had?
  • Have you ever believed in something crazy, even for a moment?

{Note: Initial 'My Pet Raptor' logo borrowed from a band of that name.
Follow the link, I'm sure they rock!}


  1. LMAO!!! I've heard this story many times now and I still litterally LMAO every time! You truely are THE INSANE BLONDE

  2. Thank you, Anonymous! You obviously know me IRL! :) But I'm glad I make you laugh! xx

  3. I do enjoy being anon!! :D

  4. thanks for liking our logo enough to use it in your post, loving dinosaurs as much as we do, and for crediting our band ;)

    L ... aka singer [and graphic designer] for my pet raptor <3

  5. Hey! No problem! Thanks for reading! When you guys win an MTV music award I'll be like 'yeah! I borrowed their logo!' I'll have to give your stuff a listen. Seems like my kind of music! xx