*Note: Yes, I am single again. But I wrote this post about a year ago.
I am so sick of giving second chances to people who treat me badly. I’m like a candy striper wondering the halls with a basket full of second chances - but I’m handing them out to people who don’t deserve it. I am tired of forcing myself to be the bigger person & smiling when I know damn well the person before me has hurt me. It’s worse when I am still hurting.
I am so sick of giving second chances to people who treat me badly. I’m like a candy striper wondering the halls with a basket full of second chances - but I’m handing them out to people who don’t deserve it. I am tired of forcing myself to be the bigger person & smiling when I know damn well the person before me has hurt me. It’s worse when I am still hurting.
You want me in my life? Try treating me like I matter to begin with!! I am sick of being told ‘I’m sorry’. Why are there so many people who have done thngs to me that they have to apologize for? Just!! Stop!! Hurting me!!! I don’t deserve this!!!
I have been hit by men (& I use that term lightly) who claim to have loved me. This same person started out only giving me the time of day when drunk - and apologizing for that in daylight hours. The apologies do not make it all better. It only clears their consciences. I have been cheated on by men who claim to have loved me. Repeatedly. And each sorry (coupled with a denial, work that out!) provoked a second chance from me. I had guys who made my life a living Hell in High school see me out & think they have a chance with me. Thank God I have more self respect than giving those bastards a second chance. But I have been hurt, lead on & had my heart stomped on. Some of these people meant a lot to me, some of them could have done. But they always apologise. And they all want me to forgive them. And they all ask for a second chance. And until now, I gave it to them.
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I get that I like guy things & don’t act like a proper dithering make-up caked girly girl. I get that. But I am so sick of being treated like I don’t have feelings!! I’m sick of being treated like this & then fleeing the scene of the crime only to be hunted down with apologies & requests for second chances. I don’t have any left!!! Leave me alone!!! You want me in your life?? Take a look at me now. If you can’t see that I am an amazing, attractive, sweet & honest girl who is willing to give my everything to someone who deserves it, then get the hell out of my life!! Now!! For the first and only time. No second chances. Not anymore!!! You want me in your life?! Then don’t ever hurt me again because once I am gone, I am gone for good. And apparently if there is a lesson that people before you have learned, "you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone…"
Miss SAMawdsley
xx
Questions:
Questions:
- Do you give people second chances?
- Have you ever regretted giving a second chance?
- Has giving a second chance ever worked out well for you?
I think you have to take it on a case by case basis. Some things are inexcusable, others are minor. Its importnant you don't harshly treat a minor problem because your still cut up on past nastyness. At the end of the day you'll give someone a 2nd chance if they mean something to you and their crime is excusable. You've just got to know what you want yourself and then how to ask for it. Sometimes its about getting a 2nd chance, not giving.
ReplyDeleteWise words, Anonymous. I'm talking about the big things. There is never an excuse for violence in a relationship. I'm not the type of person who could every fully forgive cheating, either. The types of things I'm talking about, to me, are inexcusable. Or at least, they should be - or are, now that I have grown tired of giving second chances. Thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeleteMiss SAMawdsley xx
I agree that cheating and violence would be inexcusable. I'd never look back at those people. However, you mut be careful to treat each new relationship as a new one and not be caught up harshly judging the new bloke for the old blokes misdemeanors. I've both been given and given a 2nd chance and i'm thankful I did despite also swearing i'd not. I guess what I'm saying is, you'll find a new bloke and he will mess up. They all do. Judge him on his own mess up. Never say never or it may be you who didnt know what she had till it was gone.
ReplyDeleteI agree with everything you are saying, Anonymous. I still don't believe I should be giving second chances to people who have hurt me enough for me to walk away. I do everything I can not to hurt someone I care about & expect the same in return. And I also treat each relationship as completely separate to any past relationships - not that there have been many. I would be devastated if a guy I liked assumed I was cheating because he had a previous girl cheat on him. That's not fair. I am me & I am not like that. I'm glad we agree.
ReplyDeleteMiss SAMawdsley xx
I give second chances, but not to everyone. Basically, I will give someone another chance if that is what I have to do in order to keep them in my life, assuming I still want them in my life...if I'm hurt bad enough that I don't want them, or they have changed (or my perception of them has changed) too much then they won't get a second chance, even if I forgive them and harbour no harsh feelings any longer.
ReplyDeleteI recently gave someone a second chance, and since doing so have swapped from regretting doing so to being immensely pleased that I did... sometimes only time tells whether you have made a good or bad decision in terms of rewards and consequences, but they are always the "right" decision if you go with what you feel.
All that said, I've never really had to give a second chance to a partner other than to give them a chance to become (or return to being) a friend instead. I imagine it would be much more difficult, painful and confusing though.
P.S. I'm going to be singing Big Yellow Taxi for the rest of the day now!!
Only give second chances where you don't compromise your values and your self worth.
ReplyDeletePeople make mistakes, some are forgivable, some are not.
Never forgive those who suggest that you are in some way to blame for their failings, you may end up believing them.
BUT, consider forgiving those who genuinely regret the hurt they have caused. Who accept responsibility for their own actions and who allow you to express your anger or hurt because without that you can never really let it go.
The only people worth being with are those who value you as highly as they value themselves.
I'm sorry you have been hurt now and in the past.
I hope you find happiness in the future.
Thanks for commenting, Dave & Sarah. It makes me happy to know there are still happy well-adjusted people who are able to stand up for themselves. I'm glad you have such healthy attitudes towards forgiveness & second chances.
ReplyDeleteMiss SAMawdsley xx